Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
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