I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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