i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
