My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You dont lie about slip and slides
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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