so explain again why im purple
no
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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