We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
