Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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