is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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