So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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