I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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