absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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