my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Be still, my beating vagina.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
