Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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