No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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