Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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