They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
