i don't like sucking hair
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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