I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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