Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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