dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
