Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
