On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
