i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
