do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
