I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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