When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
