I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
