My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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