Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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