so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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