it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
