Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
