Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
