I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
