I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
