Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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