How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
