just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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