i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
