So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm bleeding and have questions
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
