seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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