She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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