At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
