She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
