It's like God shit irony all over that family
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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