Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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