Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
