Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
