Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
im holly from the hills drunk
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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