NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
