My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
