Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
