youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
