Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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